A wraparound pulsing collar fit for our overstimulated pleasure centres? I would rather have a friend crack a pretend egg over my scalp

It is hard to say if this wraparound neck collar that heats up via a remote control was devised after a viewing of the movie Saw, but there is equally no evidence to prove it wasn’t. Unlike that film, in which a maniac inventor traps unwitting victims inside arcane instruments of torture, U-Neck (£64.99, stressnomore.co.uk) aims to relax you. It is a massage device with an X-Men visor design and flexible arms that snap around your neck. I love a massage, so I am excited for this. It heats up! It vibrates at different intensities! It even deploys infrared to target nerve endings!

First, though, the name. U-Neck is such a profoundly unattractive word, it almost warrants respect. Factual in a lumpen sort of way – this being a U-shape that fits around your neck – it also sounds like an obscure insult. It is as hard to wrap your head around U-Neck’s name as it is easy to wrap U-Neck around your head.